Once my pupils were dilated and everything close-up started getting blurry, it became clear in my mind that in this life, we often allow the "things" of this world to cloud our vision. We focus so intently on the temporal things in this life and allow these things--some of which are good things--to keep us from the eternal goal God has planned for our lives.
"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
II Corinthians 4:17-18
After my appointment was over, I went for my daily run. I quickly learned not only how BRIGHT the sun is (since my pupils were still pretty dilated it seemed brighter than usual) but how important it is to walk by faith and not by sight. It was difficult to see where I was running due to the situation with my eyes and the bright Georgia sun, but thankfully, I made it home safely. Living each day requires me to have faith in the Lord, not my faulty human vision. I may have been told my vision is "perfect," but I know better...it is tainted by sin and only by the grace of God can I see the way He wants me to see and live the way He wants me to live.
Our adoption journey has been one of walking by faith and not by sight. We know SO VERY LITTLE about our precious daughter in China that within a matter of weeks will be part of our family forever. This is SO VERY DIFFERENT from being pregnant and giving birth three times. In the adoption process, there is SO VERY MUCH that is totally out of our control. But I know SO VERY DEEPLY that God has called us to welcome Jenna into our home and our hearts, and it is ONLY by faith and not by sight that we can do this.
While my pupils were still dilated, I also learned from the Lord about how I need to focus more on what God wants my children to become than focusing on the minor (though they seem major at the time) frustrations each day can bring as a mom. Spilled milk, fighting, bad attitudes, whining, messy rooms...these are all part of being a mom with young children (and the list could be MUCH longer!) But if I choose to set my vision on these petty troubles, I'll miss out on the MANY joys that come from each day--watching my almost 5 year old son be mesmerized by the "claw" truck picking up tree branches in front of our house; hearing my daughter sing "Jesus Loves Me" in Chinese; hearing my son practice on his new guitar; snuggling on the sofa while watching a silly movie; or hearing prayers offered for their sister in China. And while the list of petty troubles of raising children can be quite long, there is a list that is MUCH more important on what God wants my children to become:
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance,
but the LORD looks at the heart." I Samuel 16:7
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being
polluted by the world." James 1:27
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow..." Matthew 6:33-34a
Three of my favorite verses that I've read thousands of times, but God let me see them in a whole new light today, especially at this particular time of my life. As we prepare to bring Jenna into our family, I will be required more than ever to rely on the Lord's strength to apply these truths every day...to not allow myself to be polluted by the things of this world, to see my daughter the way God sees her, and to not worry but seek HIM.
There is no doubt we will get many questions about Jenna's outer appearance due to the genetic skin condition that she has. This is one example of "pollution" from the world--our society's obsession with physical beauty. Therefore, I must rely on the Lord's wisdom and truth to permeate my heart so I can shower it onto Jenna (and all of my children, for that matter!) Another "pollution" I cannot allow to my mind to dwell on is other people's views about adoption. Some think we're crazy while others think we're heroes. Neither are true! We are simply following God's call for our family. Period. While God's Word is very clear about caring for orphans, not everyone is called to adopt...but I am thankful that God has called us to bring an orphan into our family. And the "pollution" of worry is something I struggle with on a daily basis. But if I've learned anything through this adoption process, it is the fact that I am NOT in control, God's plans are much better than mine, and He is with us every step of the journey. He just wants me to SEEK HIM.
And what are the first three letters of the word SEEK? S-E-E. Yes, that's what started this whole thing...I couldn't see clearly when my pupils were dilated yesterday. But God truly has a sense of humor and can use anything--even a routine eye exam--to speak to our hearts. We just need to have the EYES of our HEARTS open to truly SEE!