Two Weeks Home: "What has surprised you the most?"

This morning I was able to visit the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group that I coordinated for the past seven years.  I wanted to hear the speaker, and I really wanted to see my friends that have been so supportive throughout our adoption journey.  It was a breath of fresh air for me to spend that hour with other moms!  Jenna clung to me like a koala bear, which is good for attachment/bonding purposes, and it brought smiles to my friends faces seeing her in person. 

As I was sitting at a table with friends, holding my sweet girl, one of my dear friends asked me, "What has surprised you the most?" 

Without hesitation, I gave her two answers. 

First, I said, "How MUCH I love her!" 

Then I said, "And how well Nathan, Shelby and Andrew are adjusting, how much they love her, and how much she loves them."

My friend smiled.

There have been many surprises these past two weeks since bringing Jenna home but by FAR these are the greatest two surprises and the greatest two blessings.

As I went for a run today, tears welled up in my eyes as I pondered the answers I had given to my friend just hours prior at MOPS. 

Most parents love their children...it comes naturally.  I had instant love for Nathan, Shelby, and Andrew the moment I found out I was pregnant and that love has continued to grow since they were born.

But just two years ago, I wasn't sure if I would be able to love a child that I didn't carry in my womb or give birth to naturally.  I had carried three children in my womb and had three amazing birth experiences, so to love a child that wasn't my "own" seemed unnatural. 

As we prayed about adoption and then finally felt the Lord leading us to move forward to adopt a little girl from China, God continued to change my heart and I knew that one day I would be able to love her as my "own." 

And that day has come.  Two weeks home with Jenna and I am surprised at how MUCH I love her because it isn't a natural love.  It is supernatural, totally from the Lord.

As I've walked the aisles of Target, Kroger, and Wal-Mart with Jenna over the past two weeks, it has not crossed my mind that I have a little girl from China attached to me in the Ergo carrier (she's still not hip on the idea of sitting in a buggy).

I have my very own daughter in my arms and it feels completely supernatural!

 

God is love. (I John 4:8)