I'm trying to wrap my brain around the fact that one month from today, I will finally see Jenna face-to-face. I'm excited, nervous, and so very thankful. It's surreal...knowing that in one month, Jenna will be in my arms as my daughter!
Not one of my biological children was a "planned delivery." They came in God's perfect timing without me knowing exactly when that day would be, and each time was amazing (painful natural childbirth, but amazing nonetheless!) So knowing that I will meet my fourth child in one month is hard to wrap my brain around. By the time November 11th comes around, we will have been on this adoption journey for nearly 17 months, which was the length of time we were told to expect by our adoption agency. Since the moment we first saw Jenna's face on a computer screen on March 25th, it will be 231 days to our "Gotcha Day" on November 11th when we see her face-to-face.
When I gave birth to Nathan, Shelby and Andrew on their respective birth dates, I can honestly say it was love at first sight all three times. I loved my sons and daughter with all my being immediately. And I can also honestly say that this love has grown over the years.
I also know that I love Jenna without ever having met her. I know I will love her when I see her face-to-face on November 11th. And I know that my love for her will continue to grow over the years. But I have no idea how Jenna will feel about me on "Gotcha Day" or the days, weeks, months, and years that follow. I know there will be fear initially, but my prayer is that she will grow to love me and allow me to love her. However, my greatest prayer is that she will grow to love her Heavenly Father and receive His unconditional love for her.
The most amazing thing in all of this is that from the beginning of time, the Lord knew that November 11, 2013 would be the day for my first "planned delivery." He knew that on that day, I would have the opportunity to become the mother to a little girl without a mom. And He knew that on that day, both of our lives would be changed for eternity!