As if Saturday’s RACE for the Orphans wasn’t enough for a
banner weekend, Mother’s Day was on Sunday. Last year on Mother’s Day I wrote a blog entitled "A Mother's Day Like None Other." And that was the truth…it
was my first Mother’s Day without my mom, it was my first Mother’s Day with a
daughter thousands of miles away from me, it was my first Mother’s Day
wondering about our daughter in China’s birthmother, and it was my last
Mother’s Day with three children to embrace.
But now I am realizing that this Mother’s Day was also like
none other. It was my second Mother’s
Day without my mom, it was my second Mother’s Day praising God for Jenna’s
birthmother, but it was my first Mother’s Day to coincide with the 6-month
anniversary of Jenna’s “Gotcha Day,” and it was my first Mother’s Day with four
children to embrace.
It was a joyous day being surrounded by my four blessings from God. Jason went to be with his mom in North Carolina, so after church the kids and I relaxed for a while at home and then ventured out to Carl Miller Park.
The "castle park" area was closed, which ended up being a good thing because it was very hot outside and the fountains were open for business. The kids loved running through them, another first for Jenna.
It was a beautiful day together, and I often found myself in disbelief that four children call me "mom." There is no greater name to be called!
I couldn't help but look at Jenna on our first Mother's Day together and praise God. I am so thankful that one woman in China chose life for our precious Jenna. I am so thankful that her courage outweighed her fear in order to give Jenna over to the unknown with the hope of a life better than what she was able to offer her. And I am so thankful that God led us on the journey to bring her into our family...forever. It's hard for me to believe that it's only been six months since our "Gotcha Day" in China, but there was no better way to celebrate Mother's Day than remembering that special day and all that has transpired in these six months...it's truly been miraculous!
But I'd be lying if I didn't share about my deep grief and how much I missed my own mom on this second Mother's Day without her. In fact, I cried myself to sleep. It was a gut-wrenching cry, which doesn't happen as often these days, but obviously my soul needed a good cry. As much as I'm thankful she is in heave and no longer suffering, I admit that I miss her voice, I miss driving to Ohio to see her, I miss talking to her several times a week on the phone, I miss getting her silly texts and emails, and I miss telling her all about her amazing grandchildren.
Mother's Day will never be the same without my mom. Even though there is sorrow, I find joy in all the memories I had with her and I hope my four children will look back when I am gone one day and experience this same joy. But above all else, I hope my children know the love of their Heavenly Father and my love for them to the very end.
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