Today has been one of those emotional roller coaster days! This morning I got an unexpected call from my dear friend Andrea with our adoption agency, and I will say that my heart skips a beat every time I see her name/number pop up on my phone! Much to my surprise and delight, she informed me that she was downloading FIVE PICTURES of our sweet Jenna!!! The orphanage provided them for us and confirmed that the care package was received, so hopefully our sweet girl has seen pictures of our family in the photo album that I sent. They also stated that they do not think the lotions we sent are helping Jenna's skin, and once I saw the five pictures, I began to wonder myself...'
So I was at the top of the roller coaster, ELATED to be getting updated pictures, and I stayed up there for a few minutes when I saw the first picture...I just wanted to somehow leap through my smart phone and hold that sweet girl in my arms! But when I saw the second picture--a close up of our sweet girl's face--it was like a punch in the stomach and a quick drop to the bottom of the roller coaster. Our daughter's face looks worse and her eyes look so sad...and this made me feel so sad, concerned, and virtually HELPLESS! After scrolling through the other three pictures--her torso looks pretty good but her legs are very dry/scaly--I just prayed and asked the Lord to wrap her in His big hands and bring her to us SOON!
Another rise to the top of the roller coaster came after sharing my conflicting emotions on the phone with Andrea (I cannot tell you how VERY thankful I am for her and the entire Lifeline staff...they truly love Jesus and orphans and do the VERY best they can to show us His love during the journey of adoption). She helped me realize that my joy, sadness, concern, and helpless feelings are all very normal. It's SUPER EXCITING to get updated pictures but then reality sets in and the wait to bring her home to shower her with love and the care she needs continues.
I got to stay on this "high" for a while because I soon received a VERY encouraging e-mail from a fellow adoptive momma who recently brought her daughter home from China with a genetic skin condition very similar to our Jenna's. This sweet momma shared about their daughter and encouraged me like no one else could, for she's truly "been there, done that."
Like all roller coasters must come to a stop on level ground, I'm reminded as this day is about to end that the highs and lows of this journey will continue. In fact, they will probably increase as we get closer and closer to traveling to China and bringing our sweet girl home. Today's ride was hard but helpful for what lies ahead. We will most certainly be faced with questions, stares, and remarks about our daughter and her very visible "special need." But as the roller coaster continues throughout each of our lives, I must remember and I must show and tell Jenna that all that truly matters is the love of Jesus Christ--He is our constant, our anchor, our strong tower--and He loves us through all the highs and lows.
Ready to ride!!!